"The Tapestry of the Human Experience"

Some People Just Don't Get It...

My very intuitive, well-spoken, friendly and fun Facebook friend Wayne started a conversation earlier that quite honestly can't be ignored, or left to disappear under the rubble that is Facebook. With Wayne's permission, I am copying and pasting the conversation. As I'm sure there will be more posts in response to Mr. Rowe's original entry, I will continue to add to this post, as I believe this is a conversation that many people can relate to. If you are one of the non-labeling, unique, beautiful ones, *big kisses and hugs to you*... on the other hand, if you are one of the gossiping, superior pains in the ass Wayne speaks of, get a life... *flips you the bird*... there, now you have something new to bitch about. ;)

Enjoy the posts. I sure am!



Wayne: IF YOU LABEL ME, YOU NEGATE ME ... People who try to label others or themselves don't appear to grasp the complexity of life & the human soul. We are not young or old, straight or gay, black or white, fat or skinny, short or tall, ugly or pretty. We are our own unique collection of intellect, experience, virtu...e, and emotion. This is the tapestry of the human experience.

Kelly (that would be me): Wayne, I love this. It's absolutely true. So many people are so quick to judge, label, put down and bask in their superiority. I truly believe those are the unhappiest people of all. Being unique makes each of us beautiful (or handsome;) and standing out isn't such a bad thing... there are just so many simple-minded people who can't appreciate that. *high-five* to you for calling them out! I LOVE this post!

Wayne: Thanks Kelly! Such an easy thing to spot. Those judging people are out there every day with there label maker putting labels on everyone, when all they had to do was grab a permanent magic marker and write the word "IGNORANT" on their forehead.

Will: Rr you labeling me a simpleton? LOL

Laura: Dude- you know what you are? You are DEEP. (I just labeled you.) And I hate to do this, but in the name of intellectualism I must point out that you labeled people who label people as simpletons and ignorant when people are more complex than that. Good natured ribbing, and I totally get your point but had to say that.

Wayne: Yes I am. LOL I have a Label Baby Jr.

Wayne: Damnit! You and Will are killing me. I am trying to lash out and you masters of lexicon are picking apart my semantics like a government think tank. Dumbing down the meaning with mirrors, magic, and logic. I officially withdraw my simpleton label...due to flawed logic. I hold true to how I feel. (ALL SAID WITH A PARTIAL SMILE AND A FEELING OF WONDERMENT TOWARD 2 PEOPLE I LIKE AND ADMIRE.) Yep, I labeled you a government think tank. :) I will say in all seriousness, the next person that calls me old or refers to me as old, or fat, or whatever I supposedly am, I am going to lose it bad! I don't remember asking anyone what they thought of me. Glad they shared. I am a better and happier person because of their acumen.(This takes a long time to type because I must go to dictionary.com to ensure everything is spelled perfectly or someone will type a correction notice.)

Kelly: Lmfao!!!! The dictionary comment cracked me the hell up! Wayne, with your permission, I would love to post this conversation on my blog. Its priceless, and definitely a subject that sparks a nerve for many folks :) Let me know... And you are NOT old! Or fat! Jeesh! People suck :P Is that labeling? Nah! ;)


Wayne: Go for it Kelly!

Kelly: Woot! You Rock!

Larry: You're intelligent, good looking, and a great friend. Wait, I take that back. Sorry for negating you.

Wayne: Ha, ha, ha... You are pretty cool yourself.

Wayne: Bottom line...most of us have feelings and we know who and what we are. We know our flaws or perceived flaws. We are defined by our own perception and to an extent people around us, at least in their minds. I guess cutting people out of your life that don't have that word filter that keeps you from hurting others is the best medicine. For my part, I try not to label people, but have admittedly done so. For that, I am so sorry.

Kelly: Wayne, I think this is an excellent bottom line. I also try not to label people. We're all only human, and occasionally a label will slip out, or a thought will cross our minds that we're not proud of. I think that's human nature. There are, however, people who have a real problem. I do believe sometimes it's much healthier to cut out those toxic people, and let them meddle in someone else's life. Cutting out those that hurt us doesn't make us mean or judgmental... it keeps us sane. And let's face it, it's much easier to be happy when we're not being watched and judged :)

Happy Thanksgiving -Double Divorced :)

So if you check my blog often and eagerly only to be disappointed because I'm a total slacker, you may be surprised that I am actually blogging twice in a week! This is a rare occurrence as of late.

While I could easily blame my lack of blogging on busyness, I won't. I tend to make time for most things I need to or want to do, if they hold any interest to me. Honestly, my heart has been so rollercoaster-y lately, I haven't had the umph, pizazz or normal bullshit attitude to blog properly. And I refuse to post a non-proper entry. Proper to me is cursing, plotting, making fun of folks and turning generally boring objects into fun, sexy, beautiful and rancid joyballs (those small things that make us oh, so happy)... for a spot on example, check out my post "Heda Lettuce"... It's a riveting illustration of stupid humor at its finest.

If you take life too seriously, and don't care for hardcore situations being made into light and fluffy, mushy, soupy stuff, you should stop reading now. This will save me from receiving hateful comments (although they are always welcomed and appreciated), and will save you from having the blood boiling throughout your body, putting you in the hospital with some explosive blood disease... and don't try suing me! Do you know how f'ing easy it is to delete a blog? I know from experience, because I deleted my weight-loss blog, which I only had intentions of keeping for one inspired day. Yeah, try to sue me, and I'll prove this post never existed :P *evil cackles*

I warned you! This is your last chance NOT to read on.

The controversial topic I will be talking about today, my dear readers, is divorce. You see, my husband of 11 years (we've been together for 15) and I have decided to go our separate ways. Actually, we are agreeing upon almost everything (I want those damn red gym pants back, Joel!), which is making the process much easier, because we are going with a dissolution. And thanks to Joel being of the law enforcement variety, we even got a discount on that! So, while getting married is much cheaper than divorcing (in the most literal terms), both can bring just as much peace and harmony to one's life. Joel and I are a perfect example of that.

Although the decision to divorce was primarily mine, Joel and I both agreed that we would both be happier going our separate ways. Because of the divorce, and me being the named "bad guy" in the situation (which by the way, marriages don't end because only one of the people in it sucks... it can be rather a mutual fuck-up)... my parents divorced me.

That's right. I now no longer have a husband (though we remain friends most of the time), I also don't have a family. The entire family disowned me and the babies. Not only am I ruining my kids lives you see, I'm also going to burn in hell once my Earth life is over, due to leaving a friendly companionship of a marriage. I would like to check and see if living a lie to keep a family together works out peacefully and wonderfully in the end, but I have decided not to stick it out to try it. I'll leave that to them.

I believe that our time on this planet should be happy. I believe that if you are knowingly staying in an unhappy, discontented situation, you are doing yourself an incredible disservice.

My babies will learn from me that it's okay to take your own path... even if it's at the disgust of others. And it's okay to make decisions that others don't agree with. That's life. We can't please everyone.

I have learned that I am an extremely strong person. I didn't take a chance when I made my decision. I KNEW it was the right decision for myself and the kids, and Joel too. While things are difficult right now in many ways, I'm truly feeling happiness. I am exhausted and getting used to being a single mother of 3, but I'm content with my new life. People see it. Friends at work have noticed. My oldest, closest friends see it. My kids see it.

If I were to do it all over again, would I disappoint them? Yes! I've been doing it my entire life. There is no winning them over. I've tried to gain their love and respect for years upon years. Unconditional love is apparently optional in this situation. My parents have been on 2 year+ long hiatuses from me before this... it's not a new feeling. But it didn't become bearable until I realized I can make my life what I want it to be! With or without the help of my fair-weather family.

Will I ever divorce my children? No! I've lived it and learned from it, and I know that taking hiatuses from my children is not ever going to be an option. They are my beautiful and wonderful, and we created them. No way will I ever let them go! My love for them... it is truly unconditional.

I have had an outpouring of support from my wonderful friends! I'd try to list them all, but then I'd forget people, and that would piss them off... and then I would have to keep editing this damn post, and as mentioned above, I am a blog slacker recently. I must not be bothered by editing. I'm proud enough when I get it typed once.

I do thank my friends for believing in me! For seeing the reality of the situation, and for not judging me. Very few people have given me negative feedback about this decision. My family just happens to be part of that little group. Even my Christian friends have had my back, and I thank you guys for that! You truly rock!

Today for Thanksgiving, I received two generous invitations to dinners. I also worked this morning voluntarily. I did decide to stay home after work and relax my day away. I knew the kids would be happy and giddy to be having Thanksgiving dinner at Mama and Papa's (Joel's parents). And I was quite content knowing that they would be coming home to me this evening. I do hope my old family had an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

I will never regret shooting for the stars. I will never be sorry that I chose to make all 5 of us happy (some sooner than others) and I will ALWAYS remember those of you who have been here for me, and I'm letting go of those of you who have not.

Friends TRULY ARE the family we choose.
I'm thankful for you.

My Personal Lala Land

So sometimes I find that I live in a state of denial. I justify things. I don't lie. I sugarcoat. I don't want to hurt people, and I don't want to hurt. I want to smile... all the time. I want to enjoy this one life we have. I want to exude the exuberance that has come to be expected of me. I enjoy being silly, and I do occasionally take pleasure in being the center of attention.

I also like to give other people the floor, and I love to hear the inspirational stories of others. I like to help people who are hurting. I think it's amazing to hear about people who have overcome astonishing obstacles, lost loved ones, have nothing left, and still they manage to go on.

I have been a rollercoaster of emotions lately. For the first time I am having a difficult time seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I have been in denial about even this. I have actually been living in this euphoric state, and although I have known for some time that it isn't healthy, it has been my coping mechanism. Today I am crying for no reason. I look at my children and feel so blessed. I look back at my life thus far and see a series of mole hills and mountains. It's beautiful reminiscing, and it aches at the same time.

My personality will not allow me to dwell on these feelings for long. I may post a blog entry tomorrow regarding my insane to-do list and my favorite types of alcoholic beverages (another effective coping mechanism for those who are pleasantly delusional like me). I just need today to dwell. Just one day... to actually allow myself to experience sadness without feeling guilty about it.