Thursday, May 13, 2010

When I die...

One day, when I leave this world, I would like to be remembered for my great attitude and high-energy; not my crabiness and drama.

One day, when I leave this place, I would like to be thought of when someone hears "Legs" or "Shiny Happy People", not "Crazy Bitch" (well, maybe), or "Promiscuous Girl".

When I die, I'd like to be remembered as the girl who wrote funny stories and made a difference; not the girl who hurt people purposely and believed she was beyond beautiful, and all men wanted her.

When I leave this Earth, I want the people I loved to brag about how I spoiled them... how I loved them... and how I thought of them before even considering myself. I want to be remembered as the girl who loved to love.

And no, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon :)

-The End

Friday, May 7, 2010

A Year Since Damn-It: Happy Mother's Day!

I've been reading back through blog entries from 2009 today. I can't believe how many posts mention my children, and the crazy ass things they do! Many of the things they say and do are completely worthy of a blog... even if it's just for my own collage of memories. Some of the stories tend to amuse others, even outsiders, which makes me happy!
Here is a favorite of mine from June of last year. It walks the reader through the creative sundae-making process of 3 young children. Enjoy:

Now that Joel has a new home, and the kids spend just as much time there as they do here with Dan & I, I miss them like crazy when they are away. Let me rephrase that... the first day is like heaven... free as a bird heavenly. By day 2 I miss them like crazy. I will still never, ever understand how parents or grandparents can, by choice, spend months away from their children or grandchildren. Those kids, along with Dan and my friends, are my life.

Anyway, often after day one of having the babies back at our house, I'm usually ready to ship them back to Daddy's for a while. The feeling passes, and you may think I'm terrible for feeling that way, but the time we spend with them is precious time, and we both know that.
So, today I am reminded why I became a Mom. Two stories, two kids, one very amused me.

Story 1) Logan (3 1/2) is obsessed with bananas. He loves them. He loves to peel them, look at them, eat them... he's just a banana kid. I have no complaints... they are cheap and easy... just as I like em. Logan & I spent some quality 1:1 time together this morning while the twins were at preschool. I'm still banned from work until my eye has been drenched in antibiotics for 24 hours, and since the doctor prescribed me SULFA, which I'm crazy-allergic to, I'm back to square one. I'm not feeling too terrible at this point honestly, so being banned from work for a day isn't such a problem.
Okay, so I got off-track there... Before Logan & I left the house to pick up the twins from school, he asked if he couldn't have a banana (his second of the day). Me, being the push-over that I am, said yes. We got into the van and Logan peeled his banana, and quickly ate through 1/4 of it. While we were waiting in the parking lot, I took a picture of him happy with his nanner...

I cranked up some music so he'd have some tunes to go with his 5th snack of the day, and soon I hear, "MOM!" (in Logan-speak)... "Turn 'at down!" I looked back at him and he had the most annoyed look on his face. Once he saw I was paying attention, he got very serious and said, "Mom, this nana is igusting (that's Logan-speak). It has poop in it"... I started laughing like a hyena and watched as Logan spit out the pointy end at the bottom of his stick of fruit :P I'm not sure how many bananas will be in his immediate future. He was thoroughly "isgusted". Note to readers: Don't consume the point of a banana... it apparently has poop in it. :)

Story 2) Abbigail & Aiden ran out of school, armed with plants they had potted for me for Mother's Day, and cards with their pictures on them. I nearly started crying, but then remember that my "bad" eye would pay hell for that, so I sucked it up and gave them hugs (no eye contact involved thankyouverymuch).

As we were driving down the road, the kids and I spotted a few yard/garage sales (an everlasting weakness of mine... trash to treasure and all that jazz). I asked them if they would like to have a yard sale, because Mommy, Daddy and Dan all have some things they could probably sell. I also explained to the kids that if they wanted to put some of their toys, etc. in the sale, they could keep the money. They liked this idea, and immediately starting racking their kid brains for sellables :)

After they yelled out the names of a couple of toys, Abbi said, "Mom! I know! That blue blanket! I want to get rid of that. I'll sell it. All I use it for is to wipe my boogers on". Oh my God! The banana incident didn't even register in my brain after that very honest confession! I cracked up! Abbi did not understand why. As I laughed, she worriedly asked me if I was okay, and if I was still happy with my cards and plants. She was clueless... completely, honestly clueless.

These kids make me who I am. I'm glad the combination of our sick, twisted personalities are rubbing off on them. They will never been ordinary. They are kooks! And I love them just as they are.

One year ago Sunday, Abbigail said "Damn-it" for the first time. I look forward to what this Mother's Day will bring. The kids have a whole day to out-do themselves, although I'm not sure the blue booger blanket is beatable, honestly.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sprawls and Snuggles

The other night I was talking to Dan about how making him and the babies, and people in general, happy makes me happy. I like to do things for other people, especially the people I love. I don't necessarily need credit (although a huge pet peeve of mine is someone else getting the glory for something I've worked very hard on), and I don't always need thanked. If I've done something nice for someone, it brings me real joy. I don't think the joy comes from the actual deed... I think it comes from the reaction and the feeling. Having someone do something to show you they care, appreciate and love you is an amazing feeling; Being the giver gratifies in equal measures.

While we were talking, Dan reminded me that making time for myself is important, too. I sort of blew off the comment (sorry Dan ;) and went about my merry way. But today, after being sent home from work due to a mean case of pink eye, and having time to think, I realize how much I've actually slowed down in the past few months. It's really hard to enjoy life's experiences when we're in motion constantly... especially when we're running 90-miles an hour with sweat pouring and life slapping us in the face, telling us to slow the hell down. That would be me on a frazzled day. ;)

Anyway, not too long ago, I would feel guilty for just sitting down and watching a TV show. I would have to fold laundry, clip coupons or be busy doing some other random task, because I didn't want to "be lazy"... Don't get me wrong, I still multitask (I wouldn't be me if I didn't), but my very favorite thing to do now is just veg, snuggle, watch a show, maybe have a drink and dinner... just be totally & completely content with doing nothing. I realized today that this (and the occasional nap) is what I do for myself.

When I got home today, the kitties greeted me at the door, and when I went to nap my pink eye away (it didn't work damn-it!), Sasha curled up at the end of the bed, and shortly thereafter, began snoring happily. I took a peek at her, and she was completely sprawled out, happy and content.

The moral of my story? It's okay to be like a cat sometimes. They do nice things for people without even trying. They bring joy just by being present. They nap and are completely okay with being utterly comatose. While we can't spend all of our days that way (and let's face it, how boring would that be?), it's okay to be free like a feline now and again.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

A Damn Good Life

Recent Months in Pictures...
and then a story to lift your spirits, and your attitude :)

My babies
Easter 2010

(Thanks to Jennifer Tackett of Jennifer and her beau do BEAUTIFUL work!)

My sweetheart
Dan & I, March 2010
Memphis, TN

Our Sasha
(who I have to post an old picture of, because as of late, she's just a bitch:)

Dan's Kitty, Prowler
One of the most affectionate cats I've ever had the pleasure of knowing... and loving (just don't tell Dan;).

My new do.
Just because there always has to be a self-centered picture of me on my blog entries :P

This is what my desk looks like on a frazzled day :)

At work we host an activity we call "Remember When..." It's a group of folks who are alert & oriented, and some not-so-much, reminiscing about their childhood, school days, pets who have warmed and broken their hearts, the love of their lives, and so on... I love this activity because, although a resident may not know today's date or what he ate for breakfast that morning, he remembers "Esther", stares into the air lovingly and daydreams about their days together, rattling off nicknames and memories... walks they took together, places they dined, picnics they went on, music they danced to... and on and on...

I found myself thinking today, not only of the memories we create every single day, but also how the rush of every day life can so simply smoothie itself into a blender of chaos... all of the potential memories can so easily be lost among bills, chores, events we just couldn't say no to (even though we desperately wanted to) and burying ourselves in our work, whether it be at home or in an office.

I wonder if when our generation is in our 70s and 80s, will we "Remember When..."? Will we be able to see the face of the person we deeply loved, with closed eyes, and remember the sweet memories we created (or should have created) together? Will we be able to remember our girls' nights out, or what an impact our children, pets, friends and coworkers had on our lives. Will we have had an impact on theirs?

It's a sad truth that so many people enter work before dawn and leave long after the sun has said goodnight... that people dream of being someone they're not, spend their whole life living up to a standard they will never reach, when all the while, they could have been molding themselves into an amazing individual... someone who would be remembered for their uniqueness... someone who made a mark in history... even if it was just on the heart of one person.... someone who made beautiful memories.

I've learned in recent months to enjoy the small things, and I'm learning not to worry so much about the craziness of life which simply can't be controlled. I have learned to hold my babies, Dan and the kitties tight, take the time to snuggle and listen, enjoy the present, and know that we are all making beautiful memories to share in the future. I want to remember my life as it is... because it's a damn good life.

Happiness is...

Sunday, January 31, 2010

"The Tapestry of the Human Experience"

Some People Just Don't Get It...
My very intuitive, well-spoken, friendly and fun Facebook friend Wayne started a conversation earlier that quite honestly can't be ignored, or left to disappear under the rubble that is Facebook. With Wayne's permission, I am copying and pasting the conversation. As I'm sure there will be more posts in response to Mr. Rowe's original entry, I will continue to add to this post, as I believe this is a conversation that many people can relate to. If you are one of the non-labeling, unique, beautiful ones, *big kisses and hugs to you*... on the other hand, if you are one of the gossiping, superior pains in the ass Wayne speaks of, get a life... *flips you the bird*... there, now you have something new to bitch about. ;)

Enjoy the posts. I sure am!

Wayne: IF YOU LABEL ME, YOU NEGATE ME ... People who try to label others or themselves don't appear to grasp the complexity of life & the human soul. We are not young or old, straight or gay, black or white, fat or skinny, short or tall, ugly or pretty. We are our own unique collection of intellect, experience, virtu...e, and emotion. This is the tapestry of the human experience.

Kelly (that would be me): Wayne, I love this. It's absolutely true. So many people are so quick to judge, label, put down and bask in their superiority. I truly believe those are the unhappiest people of all. Being unique makes each of us beautiful (or handsome;) and standing out isn't such a bad thing... there are just so many simple-minded people who can't appreciate that. *high-five* to you for calling them out! I LOVE this post!

Wayne: Thanks Kelly! Such an easy thing to spot. Those judging people are out there every day with there label maker putting labels on everyone, when all they had to do was grab a permanent magic marker and write the word "IGNORANT" on their forehead.

Will: Rr you labeling me a simpleton? LOL

Laura: Dude- you know what you are? You are DEEP. (I just labeled you.) And I hate to do this, but in the name of intellectualism I must point out that you labeled people who label people as simpletons and ignorant when people are more complex than that. Good natured ribbing, and I totally get your point but had to say that.

Wayne: Yes I am. LOL I have a Label Baby Jr.

Wayne: Damnit! You and Will are killing me. I am trying to lash out and you masters of lexicon are picking apart my semantics like a government think tank. Dumbing down the meaning with mirrors, magic, and logic. I officially withdraw my simpleton label...due to flawed logic. I hold true to how I feel. (ALL SAID WITH A PARTIAL SMILE AND A FEELING OF WONDERMENT TOWARD 2 PEOPLE I LIKE AND ADMIRE.) Yep, I labeled you a government think tank. :) I will say in all seriousness, the next person that calls me old or refers to me as old, or fat, or whatever I supposedly am, I am going to lose it bad! I don't remember asking anyone what they thought of me. Glad they shared. I am a better and happier person because of their acumen.(This takes a long time to type because I must go to to ensure everything is spelled perfectly or someone will type a correction notice.)

Kelly: Lmfao!!!! The dictionary comment cracked me the hell up! Wayne, with your permission, I would love to post this conversation on my blog. Its priceless, and definitely a subject that sparks a nerve for many folks :) Let me know... And you are NOT old! Or fat! Jeesh! People suck :P Is that labeling? Nah! ;)

Wayne: Go for it Kelly!

Kelly: Woot! You Rock!

Larry: You're intelligent, good looking, and a great friend. Wait, I take that back. Sorry for negating you.

Wayne: Ha, ha, ha... You are pretty cool yourself.

Wayne: Bottom line...most of us have feelings and we know who and what we are. We know our flaws or perceived flaws. We are defined by our own perception and to an extent people around us, at least in their minds. I guess cutting people out of your life that don't have that word filter that keeps you from hurting others is the best medicine. For my part, I try not to label people, but have admittedly done so. For that, I am so sorry.

Kelly: Wayne, I think this is an excellent bottom line. I also try not to label people. We're all only human, and occasionally a label will slip out, or a thought will cross our minds that we're not proud of. I think that's human nature. There are, however, people who have a real problem. I do believe sometimes it's much healthier to cut out those toxic people, and let them meddle in someone else's life. Cutting out those that hurt us doesn't make us mean or judgmental... it keeps us sane. And let's face it, it's much easier to be happy when we're not being watched and judged :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fuzz & Fluff

Beauty in Furr-Form

It occurred to me this evening that I haven't blogged since the new year began. I have lots of happy things to dwell on right now, which is an incredible contrast to some of last year's life changes (see most-recent blog post for details). The holidays were extremely tough, but I had work to keep me busy, and friends to keep me sane ;) Thank God for my babies! They reminded me to keep my spirits up, and I sailed into the new decade quite hopeful... and I haven't been let down. Persistence and patience *sigh* are wonderful qualities. While my persistence is nothing short of one of my finest qualities, patience does not come naturally to me. Quite honestly it doesn't come to me at all. But somehow I've managed to practice it over the past few months. Patience pays off. :0) *big happy smiles*

As I sit here with my new-ish-to-me Himalayan kitty cat, Sasha, I realize that if you have been reading my blog for a while (I've made it past the one year mark, by the way! *self pat on the back... or ass... or wherever*), you probably know that I'm an animal lover. Yes, I have degraded helpless pets in the past by writing mean stories about them, but deep down, I love them to pieces. Sitting here with my lovely Sasha, I can't deny it... I'm smitten with a cat ^^= ♥!

Sasha became part of the family on December 9th of last year. She's been with us for over a month now, and she is an absolute delight! She's good with the kids, although I have decided against getting her declawed, due to the fact that the poor little fluff needs to play defense now and then, and the fact that a kneading, loving cat is just, well... natural. While I have had pet cats declawed in the past, it strikes me as funny now, as we tend to not de-fingernail (or de-toenail, for that matter) humans, unless they have been incredulously naughty (in the bad type of way, not the rawrrrr type of way)... so why subject our poor kitty to the ripping out of the claws. I'd rather not.

As I tend to get off-track, let me get back to the subject at hand, Ms. Sasha. I first learned about the dear poof ball from my best friend Anne. She mentioned that there was a kitty hanging out way out in the country, in the cold and snow, and although Anne's friend and her neighbors were feeding Sasha, she didn't have a real home. This went on for a few weeks. One night Anne sent me a picture of her, and I instantly became giddy! It had been over 5 years since I had a kitty... and I happen to LOVE Himi's and Persians, so this was like a dream come true. I did have plans to get a kitty this year, and that is still the plan (yes, Sasha will soon have a brother or sister... unless they are fond of each other, and then that's just incestuous and gross)... I just didn't count on a beautiful purr baby falling in my lap like she did. I'm thankful for her.

The night Anne took the kids and I out to meet Sasha, I was excited. I had a bit of guilt, because I was intent on waiting for a pet... but as soon as I saw her, I fell in love. I had to have her! She had to come home with me! She was needy for attention, and just beautiful as could be. She looked like an angel, and she had to be mine.

I bought the bare necessities for our girl... litter box, liners, litter itself, a bowl and food. Sasha was a hair skiddish at first (she found comfort under the Christmas tree and hiding in some duct in the basement), but she soon came around! She is now miss sociable Sasha. Everyone that stops over loves her! And it melts my heart when she sits in the window seat in the early mornings, watching the kids and I scoot off for the day. Nearly every morning I hear "bye house, bye Sasha" as we're driving down the road. She's just as much part of this house as our house is now, if that makes any sense. Basically she's a fixture. She moves, but she's a fixture. Huh... moving on... fixing to move on... jeez, just move... :P

While I'm on the topic of pets, my lovely-as-he-could-possibly-be boyfriend sent me a link tonight to a video on youtube. I watched that video, and then I stumbled onto several more. If you are an animal lover, you will find pure enjoyment just from watching this 41 second video by Parry Gripp.

And this is the video that made me dig for more:

And one more... if you are a cat lover, you will appreciate these very useful flushing felines...

Check out youtube for more. The bunny at the end of video number one made me giggle and cry at the same time.

So, in closing, as you've probably heard, people who have pets are happier people. Statistics suck, in my opinion, but this I happen to believe. I truly missed having pets in my life. I'm happy someone neglected their beautiful cat... I'm sorry she spent so many nights in the cold... but I'm happy she became OUR house cat :) She'll be spoiled rotten for the rest of her 9 lives.