My TV Boyfriends... one of my favorite topics!

Celebrity Hotness

(Read on for a look at my beautiful TV boyfriends, in order from most current to long ago...) Note: Not all of my famous men are pictured.

Mr. Leary (Past, Current & Future Crush)

Mr. Leary with his fabulous wife, Ann

Julian McMahon, aka Dr. Christian Troy

William Peterson, aka Grissom

Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing

That is me with him in the photo ;)


Don Johnson in Miami Vice

There is just something about cops & fireman

Steve Guttenberg
My first celebrity crush

I love my husband very much. I have for many years. We met when I was an infant... just kidding... but I was in my early teens. I had one serious and one semi-serious boyfriend before, and in between Joel & I. The poor guy put up with my indecisiveness... bless his heart! I just couldn't make up my mind!
After the upcoming story, you may wonder why Joel loves me and puts up with me at all. I'm just thankful that he does!

Joel 'won' because I eventually came to my senses (okay, maybe not, but I did choose him), and realized that I would have a much more stable life with him, and I loved him in a healthy way. The other guy (evil boy as I now call him) and I broke up often, and I later learned that there were many other girls in his life. Aw, young love... it's amazing how relationships at such a young age can affect the rest of your life.

So... my whole point is... I never had a ho period. I was never a club girl, and I certainly never jumped into the beds of guys I didn't know.

Joel and I married when I was 18... 6 months out of high school. I don't regret it, but...

The one very bad side effect I have suffered with, since I was never a ho, is my insatiable lusty infatuations with celebrity men. I have always had a TV boyfriend... even since I was little. So, maybe this celebrity syndrome, or whatever it's called, is just a condition I was born with. I don't know. Luckily it's not a stalker-type obsession. It's just a 'healthy' lust, if there is such a thing, for certain celebrity men. I'm very particular in my choices, and have been since I was a little girl.

My first TV boyfriends were Steve Gutternberg and Don Johnson. I remember kissing my pillow, imagining I was actually kissing one of them. I was five.

Throughout the years I have had equally maddening crushes on many celebrities. In my tweens I fell deeply in lust with the very high-pitched, saprano-singing NKOTB member Joey. Shortly thereafter I enjoyed the company of Patrick Swayze My oldest, dear friend Amy and I would watch the 'dancing' scenes in Dirty Dancing over and over again, wishing we were Baby. I would've even settled for that hussy pregnant chick... anything to be close to Johnny.

A few years ago I had a major daydream fling with William Peterson, better known as Gill Grissom of CSI. I think it was the whole distinguished thing. I didn't even mind his slight limp. In my mind it was sortof hot!

I also lust after Julian McMahon, Nip/Tuck's Dr. Christian Troy. I really need to say no more about him. He is just tall, dark, handsome.... a lovely specimen!

My longest and lustiest crush is Denis Leary. He probably always will be. I had heard of Denis before Rescue Me... my husband listens to a lot of stand-up comedy, and I had heard Denis' raunchiness, but never truly appreciated it, or him for that matter, until we started watching his fabulous firefighter show.

WOW! Denis is just hot! Of course this is my opinion, as I'm sure it's the opinion of his beautiful wife Ann, whom I adore. Ann has a wonderful blog I read daily, and what a beautiful couple those two make! I just love him... and her... in different ways of course!

I also have a slight crush on Gavin DeGraw... okay, it's a little more than 'slight'. As I've mentioned in earlier entries, I have had the pleasure of meeting Gavin on two occasions in the past year. I realize that I'm not hot like the many girls belonging to the boobs he signs (just a guess), but a girl can dream... not that I want him signing my boobs... okay, if my husband is reading this, I am sooo digging a hole right now!

Speaking of Gavin, his Columbus, Ohio concert is friday night. I'm having a minor surgery on thursday, and thought the concert would be a wonderful get well gift! I was so excited, happily typing in my information on ticketmaster.com when the evil screen popped up telling me the concert is sold out. What a disappointment! Oh well, we'll catch him next time... I guess a girl in lust can't expect to see one of her celebrity flames in person three times in one year!

So, anyway, now you know my dirty little secret... I'm a wannabe celebrity ho!
What will people say?

With a chuckle,
Kelly :0)

PS: Tell me about your celebrity crushes!

To Serve & Protect

We have had some delicate situations happening simultaneously lately. It has caused me to put my book on the back burner, not only because I have had to deal with these personal concerns (although those seem to be pushed aside as well), but also because the book brings up emotions I sometimes find difficult to feel back to back. Chapters go much more quickly than life.

It's interesting writing. If you have an emotional connection with the topic you are writing about, or the characters, you automatically feel their sorrow, happiness, nostalgia, etc. When you have emotional events going on in your personal life, writing can either take your mind off the personal gloom, or it can put a damper on your private joys.

My husband is currently sitting in a meeting with his coworkers and the sheriff, finding out the fate of his employment. He has been a loyal, non-discriminatory, stand-up deputy sheriff for nearly five years now. The rumor is that the office will be laying off 15 employees. Eight cuts have already been made. Joel is the fourth deputy from the bottom of the hiring list. He does not have much seniority. He just sent me a text, telling me that the meeting is not even close to being adjourned. Those poor men and women have been in that room for four hours now. Like Joel, many of the deputies have families, homes, car payments and many other expenses, and like Joel, they thought, until two days ago, that their positions as DEPUTIES were safe and secure.

I was stunned when Joel first told me. I am still stunned. Hopefully tonight we will have some answers. The waiting is the worst part. Every time I have heard about a company laying their workers off, I have pictured our family in that position, and have felt so terrible for those workers. I never truly understood the severity of their situation until now. Now I get it. Now I understand why people go to extremes. We are not the type, but I understand.

Whatever Joel finds out, I am going to be there for him. We will get through this. My pay will not support our family. Thankfully my dad owns his own business and Joel can help him out. How long will the layoffs be? Maybe we'll have some clearer picture at some point. I do know that if Joel is laid off, they have to give us two-weeks prior notice. I also know that we will have some trying times ahead.

My book is going to find it's way right back up the "Thing To Do" list. I'm sure many great writers have trials and tribulations, and still manage to find time and courage to write. I just need to be stronger... for my family and me.

Update: Because of my husband's awesome coworkers (don't read previous post about them being cheaters, etc.), Joel and the other deputies will be KEEPING their jobs. Joel is STILL in the meeting five hours later, and will probably be there until his shift begins at 11pm, but he is satisfied. Pay cuts will be happening, but because of the wonderful commodore, the deputies all agreed to forego their raises this year in order for everyone to keep their jobs. Now THAT'S a team!God Bless You All!

Some Cop Humor: A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

Mingling with the Skinnies, the Hotties & the Snotties

So last night was my husband's annual awards ceremony. Most of you know that my hubby is a deputy sheriff. He has been a cop for 3 1/2ish years now and I have never felt quite openly received at these events. Joel tells me he feels the same way. I wonder if everyone does...

Anyway, we showed up last night *right on time* with kids in tow... it was a family affair. We would all mingle with the other deputies, wives and children, as well as the sheriff, lieutenants and the many other persons of importance. We would then all eat dinner together and mingle some more, followed by the annual awards ceremony.

During the ceremony, the children would all play in the gym, under the watchful eye of a few dedicated adults while the wives would escape with their brave husbands to watch them win prestigious awards earned throughout the previous year. My husband was expecting to receive the Mother's Against Drunk Driving (MADD) Award this year, as he had pulled over and properly punished the most drunks (or as I like to call them worthless drunk losers) for the year of 2008. Although I felt a bit out of place, as usual, I was glad to be there for him! If nothing else, Joel should at the very least receive a faithful husband award, which was a lot more than most of the other men in his field can say. I am so blessed to have a faithful, cop husband!

I must do a U-turn and tell you that each year I make a huge deal out of what I will wear to this 'casual' event. There is one particular wife that is stunning. She is literally 'make your tongue wag' gorgeous. The guys stare. The girls envy. The husband parades her. The other cops wish they could. She and her husband have several children, and she literally has a completely flawless body, and a perfect face to match. I believe she recently had a boob job, which bring my perfect *10*opinion of her down a quarter of a notch, but she is absolutely, amazingly beautiful. I actually went to school with her, and she was just as pretty then. The guys have always loved her. The girls all love hating her. That's just how it is.

So, anyway... back to my outfit. I knew I wanted to wear something that appeared to be an ensemble I had just grabbed out of the closet. In all honesty, my mother took me shopping two nights before the event. We found incredibly flattering jeans and a complimentary blouse I was completely happy with. It took me about an hour and a half to get ready. I curled my hair carefully, paid extra special attention to my makeup and lubed on the Amber Romance lotion. I felt pretty darn good. I wanted to soak it in, because I knew that as soon as I ran into the hot wife, I would once again feel like a frumpy, uncool, blubbering, red-headed blob.

So Joel mingled with his co-workers (including hot wife and her cop husband... who, did I mention, is not AT ALL hot and very chauvinistic?) while I sat entertaining the children. I encouraged them to go play. They finally did, but less than five minutes later I heard Abbi screaming at the top of her lungs in terror, like she does at home when she can't find a Barbie shoe or one of the boys is playing with her enchanted princess cash register. Hot wife looked over at me and said "Kelly...", as if I hadn't heard the drama coming toward me. "What's wrong Abbi?" I asked as she ran toward me with full-on tears streaming down her face. "I couldn't find you! Where did you go?" Mind you, I had been sitting in the same exact spot the entire 4 minutes and 45 seconds the kids had been playing. This was only the beginning of our drama.

The kids sat through dinner unpredictably calm and well-behaved. I was proud! Joel was talking to his co-workers about his triumph over cigarette smoking. I was even more proud of him! At one point, one of his cop friends asked how Joel had been since he had quit. Without thinking I responded by saying, "he's been a big jerk." The cop friends seemed to think that was humurous, but when I looked down at an older lady sitting further down the table, I realized I had apparently made this statement pretty loudly, because she stared at me in horror. I smiled sweetly at her.

We finished dinner and mingled a little more. I have to tell you.. there really was not much mingling going on on my part. At one point a lieutenant came over to say hello. He started to push back the chair next to mine to sit down, but decided against it. I thought maybe I had a green bean stuck between my two front teeth from dinner. I attempted smiling at him with my mouth closed and immediately cursed myself for not brining my little flosser my best friend Anne had introduced me to. A few minutes later I was tidying the area around me when I looked down at that chair to find a huge glob of mashed potatoes on the edge of it. I started laughing uncontrollably. If anyone had been watching me, they would've though Deputy Thorpe truly had an insane wife. I couldn't quit laughing. That lieutenant hadn't sat down to engage in conversation with me because of a miniature mound of taters!!!I was still laughing when Joel brought in our coats for the awards ceremony. I was happy to oblige him and move on to a more structured environment where we were expected not to talk.

We explained to the kids that we would be back in a few minutes. Abbi started sobbing... again. I explained to her that I needed to go support Daddy and I would be back soon. Soon wasn't good enough. She continued to blubber. I decided to play tough Mommy and told her I WAS going and I'd be back. I started to walk out the door, and I heard her sobbing uncontrollably. I heard a woman ask her what her Mommy's name was. OH MY GOD! Give me a freaking break! So I went back into the gym and played with about thirty children while my kids played happily. I imagined Joel's name being called and him striding to the podium proudly as he graciously accepted his award. But instead of watching that awing moment, I watched children hitting one another on the head with basketballs, falling off stilts, trampling dress-up clothes, tripping over bowling balls, but mainly I watched my children playing on the fact that Mom had stayed to play because they hadn't LET me go with Daddy. I was pissed. I admit it.

To top the whole damn thing off Joel didn't receive an award. They didn't even present a MADD award at all. Joel tells me that at the end of the ceremony, the sheriff said that they had worked hard not to exclude anyone and not to forget any awards, and to speak up if anything was missed. Joel said he thought it would have sounded petty for him to bring up his achievement. Maybe it was a blessing (for Joel) that I wasn't in there. I would have had a very difficult time not speaking up on behalf of my husband.

Speaking of blessings, Joel received a cop Bible for his continued service... something we will need many times throughout the coming year, I'm sure.

On our way home the kids begged me to never attempt to leave them again. I pretended not to hear, as preschool is coming up in a few months. I'm pretty sure they won't allow me to tag along every day.

To my husband...

YOU deserved that MADD award AND the Bible!!!

To my kids... YOU probably saved Mommy from making a complete ass out of herself!!!

To hot wife... YOU have inspired me to put down the cookies and the barbecue chips and to be only 30-40lbs heavier than you next year at the awards banquet, as opposed to 70ish.

Thank you all for your inspiration!