Toxic TV

I am easily amused. I love most anything, as I've mentioned in previous posts. The mere sight of Denis Leary makes me a silly, giggling basket case.. similar to a school girl with an erotic fascination for her much older teacher.

I won't bore you with a list of the 100,507 other things that make me swoon, sing and sweat... but I will share with you that one of my favorite pastimes is watching TV. I understand that some very influential people do not have televisions in their homes. I think that's odd, but I'm not one to judge, so I just assume they either can't hear or see, they are afraid they may reenact the scenes on CSI or The Girls Next Door, or they simply enjoy meditating at home for hours, praying for their deep-seeded anger over not having a television to go far, far away.



I don't watch TV for hours on end. I have my favorite shows, I record them and enjoy watching them and fast-forwarding through the commercials. If I happen to see a commercial with Denis Leary on it, I rewind (imagine that!), but otherwise, I don't like to waste time on them. I am thankful for the invention of the DVR.

We don't deprive our kids of the evil, mind-altering cartoons either. They have actually learned a lot from the dreaded television. We do all of the other stuff, too.. we play outside, read, play games, blah blah blah... but they love their Noggin and Scooby Doo, and I'm quite alright with that. Sure, Abbi has said damn-it (which was disappointingly hilarious), but I figure when preschool starts this Fall, the twins will hear a lot worse... probably from the non-Tv-watching kids whose parents scream ass and shit and damn constantly, due to their pent up non-Tv-watching frustration. Assholes. ;)

I will now tell you about some of my favorite shows and why I love them so:

1) Rescue Me -Main reason I watch this show: Denis Leary, the occasional appearance of his cute little butt, fireman in uniform, cryptic humor, lots of cursing, lust, a hot show I can watch with my hot hubby.

2) Grey's Anatomy -Main reason i watch this show: Hot doctors, namely Mark Sloan, hospital sex, good acting, more lust... occasional love thrown in.

3) The Young & the Restless -Main reason I watch this show: Watched it since I was 4. Nick Newman is freaking hot! He & Sharon are hot together, it's always there, it never goes away. ;)... I do miss Ryan.

4) American Idol -Main reason I watch this show: The auditions are priceless, and I can't get enough of terrible singers who think they are incredibly talented, the transformation from week 1 to the finale, hot guys that can sing, a show I can watch with hubby (although he makes fun of it), Adam Lambert.

5) Desperate Housewives -Main reason I watch this show: Gabby's clothes, more cryptic humor, the fact that the last show sucked, but the next one just might be better, Marcia Cross's hair.

6) Jon & Kate Plus 8 -Main reason I watch this show: Kate is evil, I feel bad for Jon, I love that they make my life look easy, I feel blessed when I watch this insane show, the fact that we may get some gossip on Kate's evilness towards Jon, and the cheating accusations, pure craziness!

I could go on & on, but I'll close for now. For those of you who enjoy your television shows, I bow to you. For those who don't have TV's... enjoy your chair yoga (if you allow chairs in your home) and your bird watching. The rest of us use binoculars for other things.

Quote of the Day: (if you watch Grey's Anatomy, you'll understand this. If you are TV-less, you won't have any idea who this Meredith Grey person is, or what in the hell this quote means. Maybe you'll understand tomorrow's quote :)

Meredith Grey: You don't know this yet, but life isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s not supposed to be this hard.

PS: For all of the people who now think I'm evil, this was posted all in good fun. No hate mail please... well, it's okay if you send hate mail... I can take it! I might report you on TV... you'll never see it! Hahahahaha!

My TV Boyfriends... one of my favorite topics!

Celebrity Hotness

(Read on for a look at my beautiful TV boyfriends, in order from most current to long ago...) Note: Not all of my famous men are pictured.

Mr. Leary (Past, Current & Future Crush)

Mr. Leary with his fabulous wife, Ann

Julian McMahon, aka Dr. Christian Troy

William Peterson, aka Grissom

Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing

That is me with him in the photo ;)


Don Johnson in Miami Vice

There is just something about cops & fireman

Steve Guttenberg
My first celebrity crush

I love my husband very much. I have for many years. We met when I was an infant... just kidding... but I was in my early teens. I had one serious and one semi-serious boyfriend before, and in between Joel & I. The poor guy put up with my indecisiveness... bless his heart! I just couldn't make up my mind!
After the upcoming story, you may wonder why Joel loves me and puts up with me at all. I'm just thankful that he does!

Joel 'won' because I eventually came to my senses (okay, maybe not, but I did choose him), and realized that I would have a much more stable life with him, and I loved him in a healthy way. The other guy (evil boy as I now call him) and I broke up often, and I later learned that there were many other girls in his life. Aw, young love... it's amazing how relationships at such a young age can affect the rest of your life.

So... my whole point is... I never had a ho period. I was never a club girl, and I certainly never jumped into the beds of guys I didn't know.

Joel and I married when I was 18... 6 months out of high school. I don't regret it, but...

The one very bad side effect I have suffered with, since I was never a ho, is my insatiable lusty infatuations with celebrity men. I have always had a TV boyfriend... even since I was little. So, maybe this celebrity syndrome, or whatever it's called, is just a condition I was born with. I don't know. Luckily it's not a stalker-type obsession. It's just a 'healthy' lust, if there is such a thing, for certain celebrity men. I'm very particular in my choices, and have been since I was a little girl.

My first TV boyfriends were Steve Gutternberg and Don Johnson. I remember kissing my pillow, imagining I was actually kissing one of them. I was five.

Throughout the years I have had equally maddening crushes on many celebrities. In my tweens I fell deeply in lust with the very high-pitched, saprano-singing NKOTB member Joey. Shortly thereafter I enjoyed the company of Patrick Swayze My oldest, dear friend Amy and I would watch the 'dancing' scenes in Dirty Dancing over and over again, wishing we were Baby. I would've even settled for that hussy pregnant chick... anything to be close to Johnny.

A few years ago I had a major daydream fling with William Peterson, better known as Gill Grissom of CSI. I think it was the whole distinguished thing. I didn't even mind his slight limp. In my mind it was sortof hot!

I also lust after Julian McMahon, Nip/Tuck's Dr. Christian Troy. I really need to say no more about him. He is just tall, dark, handsome.... a lovely specimen!

My longest and lustiest crush is Denis Leary. He probably always will be. I had heard of Denis before Rescue Me... my husband listens to a lot of stand-up comedy, and I had heard Denis' raunchiness, but never truly appreciated it, or him for that matter, until we started watching his fabulous firefighter show.

WOW! Denis is just hot! Of course this is my opinion, as I'm sure it's the opinion of his beautiful wife Ann, whom I adore. Ann has a wonderful blog I read daily, and what a beautiful couple those two make! I just love him... and her... in different ways of course!

I also have a slight crush on Gavin DeGraw... okay, it's a little more than 'slight'. As I've mentioned in earlier entries, I have had the pleasure of meeting Gavin on two occasions in the past year. I realize that I'm not hot like the many girls belonging to the boobs he signs (just a guess), but a girl can dream... not that I want him signing my boobs... okay, if my husband is reading this, I am sooo digging a hole right now!

Speaking of Gavin, his Columbus, Ohio concert is friday night. I'm having a minor surgery on thursday, and thought the concert would be a wonderful get well gift! I was so excited, happily typing in my information on ticketmaster.com when the evil screen popped up telling me the concert is sold out. What a disappointment! Oh well, we'll catch him next time... I guess a girl in lust can't expect to see one of her celebrity flames in person three times in one year!

So, anyway, now you know my dirty little secret... I'm a wannabe celebrity ho!
What will people say?

With a chuckle,
Kelly :0)

PS: Tell me about your celebrity crushes!